The 30-Year Debut

The Goddess of Love

By Ludup
© 1995 Lee David Painter

Some stories take 30 years to tell. This is one of them. Today, I'm releasing a song I wrote and recorded when I was 22. It's a track that has lived on a single DAT tape for three decades, a perfect slice of 1995 preserved in magnetic dust. The song is called "The Goddess of Love," and this is its story.

Back to 1995

Picture this: It's circa 1995 in Nottingham. Britpop is dominating the airwaves, and a 22-year-old version of me, Lee David Painter, walks into Square Studios with my stepbrother, Neil Macalister. We had one day to capture lightning in a bottle. The studio was cutting-edge for its time—it had a massive mixing desk that felt like the command centre of a spaceship, a proper vocal booth, and an atmosphere buzzing with creative energy.

As songwriter and performer, I handled the vocals, bass, keyboards, and programming, using an Alesis drum machine and an Akai sampler to build the dance-beat foundation. Neil, a fantastic rock guitarist, brought the edge. He unleashed a killer riff and hard, driving chords that gave the song its bite, perfectly fusing the dance and rock worlds.

The track was a product of its time. The engineer, whose name is now lost to me, mentioned he'd worked with the chart-topping dance act D:Ream. My own influences were a cocktail of pop royalty—the soulful swagger of George Michael, the showmanship of Elton John, and the raw energy of Michael Hutchence from INXS. And if you're wondering about the high-pitched backing vocals, that's me attempting to summon the spirits of the Bee Gees. Some 70s influences are too good to leave behind, even in 1995!

Sex, Drugs, and Naivety

Lyrically, "The Goddess of Love" is about the intoxicating, all-consuming power of physical connection—the idea of sex as a drug. Looking back, it's a little naive. At 22, I didn't really know much about love, sex, or drugs. It was an exploration of escapism, inspired by George Michael's "I Want Your Sex." The line "Take the pill, we could thrill, in all this wonder we conceive" was a playful double entendre.

And then there's the chorus: "Hey girl, come get funky, All I want is a little Sex Monkey."

It's a bold, provocative line. It was inspired by George Michael's other track, "Monkey," which used the phrase "monkey on your back" to describe addiction. My playful idea was to frame that intense craving in the context of desire. Honestly, I wouldn't write that lyric today; we live in a different world. It's a lyric that is unapologetically of its time.

The Great Pause

So what happened? We recorded this track, I made a 4-track demo of other songs that year, and then... life. I settled down, got a mortgage, and eventually built a career as a software engineer. The music was put on hold, and "The Goddess of Love" was relegated to a single DAT tape, unheard by anyone outside a small circle of friends and family. It became a time capsule of a life I might have lived.

For 30 years, I've had that tape. A forgotten dream.

Pressing Play Again

When I started writing again, it felt like opening a floodgate—so this is just the beginning. But before I could move forward, I had to go back. Once I committed to releasing music independently, choosing the first track was easy. This recording was too good to be forgotten; it was a professional session that deserved to be heard, not left gathering dust on a shelf.

So, under my artist name, Ludup, the process of digital archaeology began. I split the stems from the original DAT stereo mix and created a refreshed, remastered version using modern tools. The goal wasn't to overproduce or change it, but to clean the 30-year-old dust off and let it shine.

Listening back has been an emotional experience. I listen to my 22-year-old, untrained voice and think, "Jesus, how did I manage that?" But there's a raw passion in the performance that I'm incredibly proud of. It's strange to think that after three decades of being a private memory, this song will soon be something I can ask Alexa to play.

A Time Capsule for Your Playlist

I hope you'll listen to "The Goddess of Love" for what it is: a genuine time capsule. In an age where a huge percentage of new music is generated by AI, this is a 100% human artifact from 1995—a snapshot of youthful ambition, '90s production, and a dream that refused to disappear. Sometimes I wonder what could have been if I'd been more confident back then. But there's no room for regret, only the excitement of finally sharing this with the world.

Welcome to my 30-year debut.

Listen to "The Goddess of Love" by Ludup below.

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